Lost for words!
I’ve been staring blankly at my bloody computer for the last half hour, to anyone watching me I must look totally gormless. Some would call it writers block, I call it tosspot brainfog, one of the many delights of my constant companion, MS!
Im trying to put pen to paper – sorry, fingers to keys but Im just lost for words! Our youngest,Georgie would say I’m over thinking it but with ms on one shoulder and clarity on the other it’s hard not to. So, I’m going to stop fannying around now and just go for it –
My neuro thinks I’ve had MS since my mid twenties and looking back it all makes sense – the mind blowing headaches, insomnia, overwhelming exhaustion, feeling like a wilting lettuce and at times, out of character behaviour to name but a few. I’ve been mis diagnosed so may times, as the Drs and specialists scratched their heads as to why I felt so fucking awful al the time, thank god for health plans!. One top London specialist actually wrote on my notes” this lady presents… blah, blah, blah – I put it down to having three children and not being able to cope” what a bastard, seriously! needless to say MFH told him where he could stick his £200 bill!
I actually had an MRI at a posh London hospital and was informed they had found a small non-malignant growth, but it was nothing to worry about. An early lesion mis diagnosed seems likely looking back and they call themselves specialist, wankers the lot of them.
Over the years, I’ve also been diagnosed with Addisons disease, chronic fatigue syndrome to name but a few and when all else failed – M.E. It was like playing Russian Roulette – you never knew what illness you would have from one specialist to another.
After what normal people call a midlife crisis, we sold our house and with two removal lorries in tow, we piled 2 nutty adults, 3 stroppy kids and our old Spaniel into our trusty Volvo and moved lock, stock and barrel to Spain on a whim.
To be continued…