Save your Spoons!

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Spooning with MFH is always the best part of my day. Spooning is all about the cuddling. Think of spoons neatly arranged in a drawer. Their bowls are perfectly aligned, the hollow of each lying flush with the next – ah heaven! Spooning can lead to forking but that’s a whole different use of cutlery! (whoops – inappropriate Mother alert!!!)

Since MS came into my life, I find there’s now a separate use for the word SPOON…

Some lucky so and so’s have boundless energy and stamina ( I remember when that was me!)  but those of us who don’t, due to chronic illness, find it really hard to explain our energy levels to the uninitiated and seem to spend our time explaining that we’re not lazy, we’re just oh-so-darn tired. And that’s where the theory of spoons comes in.

What is “spoon theory”?

It’s a quirky way of explaining how much energy or lack of it, we have on any given day.

You can’t measure energy levels scientifically but this unit of measurement – numbers of spoons you have – seems to hit the nail on the head.

TS Eliot’s quote “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons” could have been written for us  – the MS “Spoonies”

The basic theory is that we count our day in spoons – tasks – 12 is the number bandied around but it’s up to you to set your spoon limit. Every activity we do costs us one or more of our daily allowance of aforementioned spoons and we have to use them wisely to get through the day: Here’s my take on it…

Getting up in the morning = 1 spoon

Having a bath = 1 spoon (getting in and out on bad day 3 spoons)

Walking the dog = 2 spoons (unscheduled squirrel chase – spoon meltdown!)

Visiting friends = 4 spoons (just a chat and a coffee uses lots of spoons)

School run = 3 spoons

Work = 5 spoons

Shopping = 5 spoons (on-line shopping 1 spoon and more satisfying  – boom!)

Exercise = 5 spoons (use your spoons wisely)

Climbing the stairs = 1-2 spoons (I have 3 storey house, so I’m all out of spoons by lunchtime!)

Cook = 3 spoons (baking – spoon reserves required)

Watch TV = 2 spoons (anything with George Clooney or Ryan Reynolds, gains you a spoon – swooning is good for the soul!)

Reading – 1 spoon

Making phone calls = 3 spoons

Ironing = weeks worth of spoons, so give this one a wide berth!!!

Attend social event = 5 or more spoons

Extracurricular activities = Way too many spoons, but so worth it!!!

You might hear someone say they’re running low on spoons. Don’t rush to John Lewis to replace them, they just need to rest and recuperate.

And if we spoonies use up more energy than we actually have, and get overly exhausted as a result, it’s known as getting into “spoon deficit”. This is when you have to have a ” crash landing” – an unscheduled rest to get over non-standard events such as a day out or hospital trip.

It’s all about pacing yourself and choosing which tasks are worth “sacrificing a spoon” for. In my humble opinion – ditching the cleaning and spending the afternoon on the sofa with a good book means you’ve replenished your spoon stock and can go to the theatre or out for supper without having to use matchsticks on the eyelids!

Word of warning… if you exceed your daily allowance, be aware that you’ll be dipping into your spoons for the next day, but then that’s fewer spoons for tomorrow.  Plan carefully or you’ll end up a gibbering wreck with not a spoon to call your own and forking is will be a thing of the past!!

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Me, an MS Foodie – Who knew!

Me, an MS Foodie – Who knew!

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Since MS entered my life like a lightning bolt, I’ve spent a lot of time debating whether or not to follow special MS diets. After doing a little homework on the various diets out there and road testing a few (credit card has taken a real pounding!), I’ve come to the decision that most are not sustainable & are not for me. No matter how much I try, Kale and I will never be best friends! #msdietsmeh…

Each of us with MS follows our own food journey and what works for one isn’t going to work for others. what is it they say – “One man’s meat is another man’s poison”; but we mustn’t get all judgy wudgy over each others diet choices!

There are no hard and fast rules, you’re not sent straight to MS hell if you don’t follow Swank or OMS etc. The one thing I think we can all agree on is that you do have to rethink some of your food choices and write your own diet rules. A little bit of what you fancy does you good…

I’m no diet expert, but I have to follow my gut as to what I should and shouldn’t eat. My gut says ” MS diets are not a cure, eat healthy foods and partake in healthy habits like drinking lots of water and avoiding junk food* (* I’ll come to that later)” and you’ll find a happy balance that works for you”

My gut is very wise and knows me very well, and let’s be honest, it’s common sense stuff really – you have to find what works for you – mind, body, soul & tummy. If these are all fighting against each other, you’re fighting a losing battle! I’ve found that prebiotics & the 5:2 diet help to recharge my ever decreasing energy levels.

I’ve removed a hell of a lot of “baddies” ( those oh so yummy processed delights) from my shopping list and and am constantly trying out new “goodies” and we seem to have a happy balance now.

I eat healthy whole foods including bread, lean meats, nut butter and other so-called “bad foods.” My gut and I also thank carbs, like eggs and other so-called “problem” foods for making it possible for me to live a normal life with MS.

* As for junk food, well it’s ok to be naughty every now and then, as it’s my reward for being a good girl ( most of the time!) Goodbye quinoa & Hello Micky D’s – naughty but nice – hell yeah!

I’m no Mary Berry or Deliciously Ella, but MFH & I do try and cook all our meals from scratch and we are eating a much healthier diet now. We are a real tag team in the kitchen and are slowly turning into Fannie and Johnny – only those of us of a certain age will know who they are!! (Amelia Freer is our fave go-to cookbook).

I thought it might be nice to start sharing some of my healthy but super delicious finds – Here’s my first batch – hope you like them…

Frittata Muffins

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I adore frittatas and as some days you don’t feel like cooking but yearn for something tasty for breakfast, why not make up frittata muffins to keep in the fridge for quick snacks or meals. Frittata is a natural at breakfast and making mini ones using muffin trays is a brilliant idea.  It’s great fun, super easy and quick (always my preference) and they are simply delicious. And pretty much any filling goes…  all you need to do is whisk eggs in a bowl ( as many as you like)

How to:

  • Grease the muffin tray with coconut butter (or olive oil).
  • Choose your fillings and put a small teaspoon in the bottom of each muffin tray then spoon over the whisked egg until they are just filled.
  • Bake in the oven on a medium heat, roughly 150°c for 10 mins or until they are cooked through.
  • They are fluffy and light and a lovely way to feed a busy breakfast bunch AND they are great hot, warm or cold.  Play around with the fillings, use leftovers and make sure you add in flavour.

Try these egg ‘muffin’ fillings:

  • Sundried tomato, chilli & paprika
  • Beetroot & Feta
  • Roasted Squash and Sage
  • Avocado, Spinach, chives & basil

Dreamy Coconut Pancakes

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These are seriously yummy pancakes; they crisp nicely on the outside but are very fluffy and soft on the inside. Just add blueberries and coconut as they work so well together here, but you can swap these for your own favourite combo.

Serves 2 – You’ll Need:

  • 35g coconut flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
  • a pinch of sea salt
  • a pinch of vanilla powder, or a teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 2 medium eggs, preferably free-range or organic
  • 130ml coconut milk
  • coconut oil
  • fresh blueberries, coconut flakes
  • maple syrup, to serve

Step-By-Step

  • Mix together the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add the eggs, then slowly add the coconut milk, mixing with a wooden spoon until you get a smooth batter (you might need to add a little more coconut milk, depending on the thickness of your coconut flour – the batter should be quite runny).
  • Heat a large, non-stick frying pan over a medium heat and melt 1 tablespoon of coconut oil. When the oil is hot, spoon in 2 tablespoons of batter for each pancake.You will need to cook them in batches.
  • Leave to fry until completely cooked and brown underneath, then carefully flip over and cook the other side. Transfer the pancakes to a plate and keep them warm while you cook the remaining batter.
  • Serve in a stack with fresh blueberries, coconut flakes, and maple syrup. Alternatively, press the fresh blueberries into the batter in the pan, so that they’re cooked into the pancakes.

You could also use frozen blueberries rather than fresh. Put 2 handfuls and a few tablespoons of water into a small saucepan and bring to a simmer –this gives you lovely, dribbly blueberries with a purple ‘sauce’.

 

Sweet Potato Cakes, Tiger Prawns & Ginger-Saffron Yogurt

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I love a good sweet potato cake. Sweet potatoes have a great colour and they are more nutritious than potatoes.

You’ll need (serves 4)

  • 3 medium-sized sweet potatoes, peeled (approximately 750g)
  • 1 egg
  • 25g coconut flour
  • 3 spring onions, chopped
  • 1tsp sea salt
  • a sprinkle of freshly ground black pepper
  • coconut oil, for frying
  • 16 raw tiger prawns, peeled and deveined

For the ginger-saffron yoghurt:

  • pinch of saffron threads
  • 125g coconut yoghurt
  • 1tsp finely grated fresh ginger
  • 1tbsp extra virgin olive oil
  • a squeeze of lemon juice
  • 1tbsp freshly chopped coriander (optional)
  • 1tsp freshly chopped mint (optional)

Step-by-Step

  • Steam or boil your sweet potatoes for 10-12 minutes until soft. Drain and dry the potatoes in the pan for 1-2 minutes, then mash them until smooth. Mix in the egg, coconut flour, spring onions, salt, and pepper. Form 12 lime-sized balls and press these into patties, about 1cm thick. If making ahead, chill the cakes in the fridge until you are ready to cook them.
  • Add ½tbsp boiling water to the saffron threads and leave to cool. Remove from the water and mix them into the coconut yoghurt with the ginger, olive oil, salt, and pepper. Squeeze a little lemon juice. You can add coriander and mint as well if you wish.
  • Put 2tbsp coconut oil into a large non-stick frying pan over a medium heat. Fry the cakes for 3-4 minutes on each side, until golden brown.

Quickly sauté the prawns in a non-stick pan in a little coconut oil for 2 minutes on each side, until pink and cooked through. Serve the patties with a dollop of ginger-saffron yogurt over the top and the prawns on the side. 

Simple Prawn, Coconut, and Aubergine Curry

This is completely addictive and simply divine. Once you’ve tried it you’ll be hooked. It’s so easy to make – easy peasy, lemon squeezy!

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You’ll need (serves 4)

  • 2 tbsp coconut oil
  • 1 onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic, finely grated
  • 1 thumb-sized piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
  • 1 red or green chilli, deseeded (if you like) and finely chopped
  • 1 tsp ground cumin
  • 1 tsp ground coriander
  • ½ tsp garam masala
  • ½ tsp turmeric
  • 1 aubergine, grated or cut into fine julienne
  • 100g cherry tomatoes, cut in half
  • 300ml vegetable stock
  • 250ml coconut milk
  • 200g raw tiger prawns, peeled
  • 1 large handful of baby spinach
  1. Heat 1 tbsp of the coconut oil in a large pan and fry the onion, garlic, ginger and chilli for 2-3 minutes to soften, stirring frequently. Stir in the spices and season well with a pinch of salt and pepper. Continue to fry over a medium heat for a further 1-2 minutes until fragrant. Transfer the mixture to a mini food processor and blend until smooth, adding a splash of water if necessary to loosen the consistency to a paste.
  2. Return the pan to the heat and add the remaining coconut oil. Add the paste and fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the aubergine and sauté for 1-2 minutes, stirring to coat it in the paste, before adding the cherry tomatoes. Pour in the stock, bring to the boil, then reduce the heat and simmer gently for 10-12 minutes.
  3. Add the coconut milk and prawns and cook for 3-4 minutes until the prawns are pink and cooked through and the sauce has just thickened. Stir in the spinach, wilt for a minute, then season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve immediately.

Simply Divine Nutty Banana Ice-cream

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I defy anyone not to get all weak-kneed over this little bowl of heaven! If you have never thought of using bananas to make ‘ice-cream’, prepare for a real treat. Their texture once frozen and blended is like the most delicious, creamy sweet ice-cream you’ve ever tasted. The addition of nut butter here adds some healthy fats and plant protein, to slow down the release of fruit sugars from the banana.

Ingredients

  • 1 ripe banana, peeled, sliced and frozen
  • 2 teaspoons of almond or hazelnut butter
  • 3 tablespoons coconut or almond milk

Step-by-Step

Slice and freeze your banana the night before you make this.

In a small food processor or blender, whizz up the banana and nut butter with 2 tablespoons of milk. Push the mixture down the sides of the bowl and add another tablespoon of the milk. Use just enough to get it whizzed up smoothly without becoming runny. Eat immediately, as it defrosts quickly (although I’m sure I won’t need to tell you twice!).

Don’t judge me for going rogue and following my own sensible eating plan. I’m actually turning into a bit of an MS foodie & love sharing my favourite healthy eating cookery books & giving a little inspiration in the kitchen. Enjoy your food journey…

(By Amelia Freer – From the book: Cook. Nourish. Glow)

Must try harder!

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Come on, let’s not beat about the bush, we have all, at some time had to put up with people making, what we perceive to be shitty comments about our illness or maybe they just do something that really pisses us off when we are talking about our MS… My bug bear is that they ask how we are doing, but the way they ask means they either can’t or don’t want to understand the answers we give.

I know they mean well and are trying to make me feel good when they say “but you look so well” but in my head, they’re saying “maybe you’re not as ill as you make out”  – it’s a vicious circle… I’m living my own version of Groundhog Day… Arghhh!!

Maybe they think we talk about MS more than we should, well I’m sorry but on any given day I actually don’t have much else to talk about – I have a chronic illness – get over it!

Since my diagnosis I have had to bite my lip and awful lot, in fact, it’s a wonder I am not sitting here, lipless from all the chewing.

As I chew, I find I’ve also added the “up yours’ head nod into the mix – you know the one where you tip your head to one side and nod rather than go to the constant effort of trying to explain what you’re going through. I’ve turned into that bloody annoying nodding dog in the back of car windows -pfft!

Obviously, I have been through a hell of a lot, how could I not talk about it? I appreciate that they may not understand but, I just wish that, for the sake of my sanity, they find a way to construct a sentence about MS that isn’t going to make me want to punch them in the face. In a bid to avoid internal combustion, I find It’s just so much easier to say “I’m fine” to any questions about my health. Been there, done that – move on!

So, in an effort not to be charged with culpable homicide on a regular basis, I’ve made a list of things we multiple sclerosis warriors would like to hear. I’m not looking for a quick fix or “make it better” solution but I just want – no need, people to show a little empathy by trying to listen and learn.

Here we go…

Do’s

I don’t have MS, so I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through every day…

I REALLY want to do something for you, so please let me know what I can do…

I know you are at the end of your tether

I’m here if you want a good cry

I’m here if you need to vent – you speak, I listen

I know that how you look hides how you’re really feeling.

We’d love you to pop over for supper but if you aren’t able to on the day, we will understand.

I’m really struggling with the MS thing, so be patient with me, I’m learning as we go

I’m feeling really tired today but I know that your tired is on a whole different level

So sorry that you are feeling crappy today. I hope you feel BRIGHTER tomorrow.

Me:  That’s so sweet, thank you (FINALLY!)

Do Not’s (don’t poke momma bear!)

But you looked so well the other day… ME: it’s called makeup and a shit load of effort,

You slept ALL night, how can you be so tired? ME: FFS!

 I know of someone’s uncles’ sister’s friend who has MS but has been symptom-free for 15 years… ME: Simple answer -lucky bastard

That person on the telly with MS seems ok, why aren’t you? ME: Perhaps because they have shit loads of money and can try all these new fan-dangled treatments and travel the world searching for THE answer!

You can’t feel that way ALL the time… Me: Let’s do “Freaky Friday” and change places for a day, see how you fare!

Maybe you just need to try a little harder. Me: WTF – It’s like a hoover has sucked all the energy out of me. I feel like a deflating bouncy castle most the time

You always seem to be away with the fairies in the middle of a conversation… ME: It’s the damn brain fog, a real pea souper most of the … er, what were you saying!

I know exactly how you feel! ME: I’m sorry I can’t hear what you’re saying for all the steam spurting from my ears!!

Once people accept that invisible symptoms are very real, life will be a lot better for all of us and I won’t have to be a lipless wonder for much longer!

Bored with a capital B! #imsobored

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Life with MS is like being the last suitcase on a never ending airport luggage carousel – you keep going round and round but you can’t find away to to get off, no-body has claimed you, so you’re stuck in limbo. Now I know exactly how a bloody hamster feels!

MS gives you many things, but the one thing you are not prepared for is the sheer boredom. Having the energy of a dead gnat and being housebound for the majority of the time is oh so boring – I’ve lost my mojo!

What they don’t tell you in all the leaflets about the symptoms you can expect with MS, is the sheer mind numbingly tedious boredom that goes hand in hand with this illness.

Let’s face it – Ms itself is far from boring as the first thing you think of every morning is what delightful symptoms it’s going to chuck at you and as we all know, the MS bag of tricks is like a Mary Poppins bag – deep and never ending!

Bollocks to a spoonful of sugar, its hello to a bag of crap…

To the outside world it must look like we have a cushy life with this MS lark – not being able to work, lazing about the house and having others wait on you hand and foot. Well let me tell you world – when you’re forced into 24 hour house arrest by the ms police – boredom is not a luxury, its a sentence and there’s no early release for good behaviour!

Being stuck in the house for most of your time is sooo yawn inducing ( yeah I found another way to describe boring!). Life is buzzing all around outside like bees to a honeypot, but no matter how much you try, you can’t participate as your captor reminds you that you are in detention – limbo if you will!. There are so many things I want to do, but when you have the top speed of an inebriated sloth, moving from bed to sofa is as much as we can muster most days.

Feeling tired all the time is monotonous ( I’m like a thesaurus today) – In my youth I was a world champion sleeper, you couldn’t get me out of bed with a ten foot barge pole – but at this stage in my life, having to sleep as a necessity is so damn irksome ( I’m on a roll!) and I spend most of my day resisting the urge to count sheep – in my mind, the more I sleep the more life slips through my fingers and I feel MS is taking over.

I have one gorgeous friend who, no matter how many times I turn her down, keeps asking me to do things – she’s going to get bored eventually and stop asking, but love her for trying. Whilst I am on permanent repeat – same old symptoms –  a bit wobbly, in a black hole, tripped over the dog, she’s galavanting all over the place at break neck speed. Am I bothered? Yes I am – I long to galavant without a care! You can’t just leave the house with gay abandon – It takes me so long to prepare for going out, that most of the time I say “bugger that, I’ll try again tomorrow”!

I still haven’t mastered the art boredom, there’s not a lot you can do from the comfort of your chair – I find myself staring out of the window, willing something to happen, to break the monotony of my LONG, LONG days . The highlight of my day is flicking through the listings on Sky and marking off what I’m going to watch on TV – god I’ve turned into the people I used to mock for being losers!

In a bid to combat the MS boredom (Ive never been into puzzles and solitary games) it would appear that I’ve turned into Shirley Valentine – I talk to the bloody wall… (mad as a box of frogs I hear you cry!)

Me: I spy with my little eye something beginning with b…

Wall: …

Me: Bored – I’m just bored – bored of being bored – bored of saying I’m bored!!!!

Wall…. (obviously he can’t reply, he’s a wall –  but he’s such a good listener, bless him!)

Another boredom buster is online shopping – and I am sooo good at it! The postman came to the door so often that he and MFH were on first name terms! – MFH has now attached a rubber band to my credit card so that it now pings back into my wallet before I have chance to complete a purchase – ah it was fun whilst it lasted! My claim that it helped pass the time fell on deaf ears!!!

People ask “what an earth do you do all day” and I ask myself the same question ….. Now, don’t get me wrong, some days I’m actually quite a busy, but ultimately I’m bored bored bored. I used to have proper conversations, a zest for life, a waspish wit and I really do try and keep a positive mental attitude, but as I sit here clicking the keys ( putting pen to paper is so last century) I’m still mojoless and bored – blah – blah – blah!

You must be bored rigid with this post, I know I am, so I’ll draw a line under the whole boredom thing – it’s so boring! #imsobored.

 

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For crying out loud!

 

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Big girls don’t cry… Oh yes they bloody do!

Shhh! Don’t tell everyone, but much to my annoyance, I find that these days I cry at the drop of a hat. I was never a big crier, and this change baffles me. Sometimes, the tears flow out of sheer exasperation, as I sit in the bath at 4am in a bid to soothe my aching body & sometimes, it might just be that I want to do something, but simply can’t, cue the waterworks – If tears were currency, Id be a millionaire Rodney!!

I’ve spent years bleating on to my children to buck their ideas up and not to cry over spilt milk, it’s not the end of the world and now thanks to MS… I can’t, I do and it is!

Sometimes, I cry at a mere thought of pain, other times, I cry because everything hits me like a tonne of bricks, I hit my MS wall if you like! Don’t fight the urge to blub – let it out. My Granny always said “better out than in” and it’s so true.  It’s at times like these, neither synthetic or holistic medicines will do, I find a little laughter or a fit of the giggles, is the only potion I need!.

 

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Me: Excuse me waiter, I’d like to cancel my side order of sour self pity for one and change it for a big juicy, lip smacking bowl of tee- hee please!

MS: Meh – we’re out!!!

Let’s face it, us MS warriors don’t laugh enough and before you all yell “silly bitch” – I’m only to aware that we CRY for a damn good reason and pity parties are a regular occurrence. BUT Sometimes, just a simple titter will escape from my quivering lips over something silly I’m watching on TV, but sometimes when I need it most, real laughter refuses to participate. It sits on the sidelines with arms firmly crossed and refuses to join in, rather like a sulking teenager! –  I try and I try but I just can’t turn that bloody frown upside down!

So, the only option is to try and tickle my own funny bone in the things around me. Most of the time, this tactic works. MFH bares the brunt of my warped sense of humour –

Yesterday, I just had to laugh when he tripped over the Westie ball of fluff and dropped his much anticipated, oh so sticky bun on said Westie and said Westie was now covered in copious amounts of glistening raspberry jam – I say laugh, I nearly wet myself and salty tears were flowing down my rapidly flushing cheeks, it was the funniest thing Id seen in ages ( except for the day when I watched my MFH step backwards into a steaming cowpat) … I sounded like a hyena being strangled or a Doberman with a rubber band around the willy, all high pitched a shrill – but god it felt f***ing wonderful – now, now – don’t judge!

I just couldn’t stop and this time, I was crying for a good reason and bless him, MFH didn’t mind, he’s like my emotional punch bag – on any given day, the general flow in the ring  (er, sorry in our house) is..

Wham – left hook…tears

Bam – right hook… giggles

wham bam – sucker punch…  gibbering wreck, laughter, tears, sniggers, more tears –

Ding ding – end of round one – and he’s there, mopping my brow, wiping my tears and showering me with hugs and giving words of encouragement –

Ding ding – round 2 – and repeat!

Just incase I forgot to mention, I think MFH is bloody brilliant – and the award for lifetime achievement (superior ability, special effort, a great or heroic deed) goes to MFH… gold star for that man please!

He’s my PUWMS hero (putting up with my shit) in so many ways. As my official carer, I’ve explained many times that he’s doing things wrong – poor love can’t win, some things, I think we can all agree, don’t come naturally to a man, BUT the one constant in our house is BIG GIRLS DO CRY – but laughter must follow, whenever possible. And we do laugh, mostly in the face of adversity, but we do!

I cry a lot thanks to buggering MS, but laughter definitely helps! So if you’re feeling blue, its ok to have a good weep but try and find your funny, it’s worth the search!

My recipe for this MS life..

1 teaspoon of salty tears

2 teaspoons of tickle my fancy

2 cups of hugs from a hero

2 cups of good old fashioned loving

Mix together and serve daily…

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Giving pain the elbow!

Write

Dear Pain,

I’ve finally plucked up the courage to put pen to paper and tell you exactly how I feel. When you first came into my life, I reluctantly accepted you as you and MS came as a pair, a tag team of misery. I have learnt to cope with your spiteful digs, barbed jabs and your unrelenting grievous bodily harm but, enough is enough, it has to stop, I can’t take anymore. Iv’e been feeling this way for a long time but tried to pretend I could carry on. Look, I’ve reached the end of my tether and we seriously need to part company. It’s blatantly obvious that we ‘re just not right for each other. I can’t have you in my life anymore, you’re misery personified!

What I really want to say is, you’re an insensitive selfish wanker and I deserve to find something that can offer me tenderness, soothing and an escape from all things that involve you, pain. I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else, so I have to tell you, I’ve found something that’s helping me though this difficult time, It’s called love and kindness with a side order morphine and gin!  I have to get this off my chest… You’re vicious, heartless, brutal and quite frankly, downright evil. I’m done, we’re through, you’re out of my life. I would say goodbye forever but I know, you’ll find away to creep back into my life.

See you around -NOT!
Signed, Me.

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Give us a clue – meh!

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In the good old days, I used to be an absolute whizz at word games, after all I could talk for Britain – verbally incontinent, if you will! ( now i’m just incontinent – boo hoo!)

Fast forward to 2017 and MS has turned my brain to mush and I’m fully aware, it’s only going to get worse. At any given moment I can burst into complete jibberish when trying to cobble together a constructive sentence – no matter how hard I try, total bollocks is all that I can muster. My son always berates me for using 20 words when 5 will do, but now it’s a bloody marathon just to get out one whole sentence!

My mouth says ” can you get me – urm – hang on a minute, it’s coming, let me think about it  – a do-dah from the thingeamagig” but my brain is screaming something completely different, there you are… proof, it’s official – I am now a verbal halfwit!

I honestly can’t seem to remember even simple worlds, I find myself stopping mid sentence to trawl through 50 odd years of spoken words before blurting the word out with utter glee “hammer, yes HAMMER” – ffs, in my head it sounded like avocado – meh!

In a bid to stay one step ahead of my MS word fiend, I have resorted to describing the thing I’m trying to say ” it’s green, nobbly and we grew them in Spain”  I’ve even started to add in hand gestures to get me over the finish line of a sentence. Im so good at it now, I bet Lionel Blair & Una Stubbs would be fighting to get me onto their teams on Give us a clue (OMG,that shows my age!)… content – 5, fucking effort -11.5!

MS – You might have turned me in a to a jibbering monkey, but I get there in the end – tah dah!!

PS it also helps that MFH seems to be tuned into radio MS and can guess what Im trying to say!!

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